The mouse and me

I have a mouse loose in my garage. It’s not the first time I’ve had a mouse, but this is by far the most frustrating. Not only is the mouse very destructive, but it’s evaded all attempts to capture or kill it so far.

I first noticed a hole in the fabric of the back seat of my car about two weeks ago. I cart my kids around several times a week while they’re wearing sports equipment so I figured that they’d ripped the seat with some cleats or something. A few days later, there was some fiberglass insulation laying on the floor of the garage. I found that odd and was at a loss to explain where it came from.

Last Monday morning, I got into the car after leaving the windows down overnight and found a destroyed package of mints I’d left in the car. The package had been shredded and there were gnawed on mints all over the floor. In the passenger seat was an unopened bottle of Gatorade. The label had been torn to shreds. It was then I knew I had a mouse and the mouse had gotten into my car.

I searched the garage for droppings, trying to determine where the mouse was spending its time, but was unable to find anything. The best evidence I had of the mouse’s location was the fiberglass insulation I’d found near the wall. That’s where the traps went, baited with peanut butter.

Last summer I opened a drawer of my toolbox and was startled when a mouse came out of it. The mouse had found a package of vegetable seeds lying at the bottom of the drawer. I put out a peanut butter baited trap and went inside the house. As the door was closing, I heard the trap go off and turned around to see a dead mouse in the trap — less than a minute after I’d put the trap out. So I know peanut butter works.

It worked this time too. The mouse apparently loved the peanut butter. He triggered the traps, ate the peanut butter, and left me a little note asking if I’d leave extra chunky peanut butter next time. I reset the traps, added more peanut butter, and had the same result. This mouse was pissing me off. I added more traps, different brands, and strategically located them so that when the mouse tried to move away from one trap, he’d get caught by another. Each morning I’ve been greeted by a combination of empty traps, traps that hadn’t been triggered, and a couple that were upside down.

What really scared me was the trap that was smashed. The little metal trigger was a twisted, mangled heap.

Friday afternoon I found another hole in my car seat, but this time the windows had been left up. Off to the store to get more traps. I bought glue traps that the mouse is supposed to stick to. I bought a completely enclosed trap with the theory that the mouse won’t be able to remove the bait without getting himself caught inside the trap. I feel like I’m in a Nathan Lane movie. I’ve started drawing up plans for a Rube Goldberg device involving some string, a pellet gun, a pair of shoes, and a 2×4.

Nothing has worked.

Sunday morning I discovered that one of my traps was missing. I think the mouse took it home to put in his trophy case.

Today I discovered the mouse had eaten the foam padding off my bluetooth headset. For those keeping score at home, the mouse has claimed two car seats, a bluetooth headset, a package of mints, a bottle of Gatorade, a bottle of water, insulation from God-knows-what, two mouse traps, and most of my sanity.

I’ve put rat traps out as well, thinking that perhaps the reason the mouse keeps evading the traps is that they’re too small to catch it. I’ve had some friends suggest that what I have is actually a rat, but I’ve found some droppings, and they aren’t rat sized. Unless perhaps the rat is constipated from all the foam rubber he’s consumed.